Pokemopolis - 'cause Pokemon is NOT a Childrens Cartoon


	Jack the Ripper, The Boston Strangler, Caligula, Adolph Hitler, George W. Bush and Mohandas Ghandi. Brutal, sadistic killers all of them. Reviled by history and film alike countless times. Yet there is also a horrifying fascination with them, a desire to know more, to get inside the sick head and find out what caused them to murder prostitutes, strangle women, rape their mother, kill millions of Jews, gypsies, homosexuals and disabled people, invade a sovereign state to gain control of it's resources or overthrow the benevolent rule of the beloved British Empire just because they taxed you to use salt. Yes we are fascinated with the minds of the sick, the depraved, the weird and the peculiar. Thus, Rocketshippers. Rocketshippers have at turns been derided as being detached from reality, lauded for the brilliance of the farcical lie they pretend to believe in purely for the comedy value or even had instructions given out about them regarding how to convince them of the error of their ways. But now we suggest that rather than change the Rocketshipper, we first try to understand them. For if Rocketshippers truely do believe what they say they do, they need to be cured and quickly, before Jesus rises forth in fury and lets loose the roar of,"Begone from me ye wicked and burn forever in the lake of fire," just like in all of those Jack Chick tracts. To defeat thine enemy you must first know them, as some false medievil speaking motherfucker said sometime. In our quest to discover more we delved deep in the sick, twisted mindset of the Rocketshipper and untangled all of the wires of denial, bad fanfiction ideas and complete dismissal of characterisation to discover the shocking and horrifying truth. There is a vile and deep-reaching conspiracy behind 'Rocketshippers' and we here at Pokemopolis will bring you the truth no matter what 'they' do to stop us. SEMPER FI! (for some reason) The first and most obvious thing about Rocketshippers is how ridiculous the entire concept of their existance is. Surely they must be lying, they pretend to believe that Jesse and James of Team Rocket are in love. The concept itself is just so stupefyingly unbelievably ridiculous for so many reasons that any sane person would laugh.... if it wasn't so depressing to know that Rocketshippers actually believe it. Next, Rocketshippers profess to love the characters so much that they feel the need to detail the 'real' lives of the characters in such a way that the warped reflections of Jesse and James bear no relationship to reality. The figures are idealised and simplified and exaggerated to embarassingly crude avatars of the way the Rocketshipper themselves want to be. Jesse (pronounced Jessie or sometimes Musashi in Rocketshipper Fanfics) is a sweet, simpering, easily embarassed young girl who dreams of some non-threatening feminine looking Prince Charming to come sweep her off of her sweet on his white charger and ride her off into the sunset of eternal sexless romantic bliss. James (sometimes pronounced Kojiro) is a rugged, dominating heroic figure of such assured confidence and self assurance that women want him and men want to be him. When the two come together, Jesse whimpers and James dominates, and the old boring cycle repeats itself ad nauseum until James carries Jesse off into the sunset and the Rocketshipper rolls back in an almost orgiastic (almost?) afterglow of projection/fantasy/satisfaction. The third thing about Rocketshippers is that they are vitriolic in defence of their way of life and the continuation of their cause. For the Rocketshipper there is no peaceful co-existance, there is no acceptance of another way of thinking. They are right and that is all there is to it now and forever world without end ahem. A Rocketshipper will find a place (like Pokemopolis) that does not agree with their way of thinking and how do they react? With a fury born of righteous indignation they strike, roaring and screaming and flailing their arms like propellers. They crash and bash through e-mails, guestbooks and forums to proclaim that theirs is the only true way. Woe and behold to any in their way, because a Rocketshipper by their very nature has lost any desire to live and will destroy anything and everything in their way, including themselves if they had to. So what have we learned about Rocketshippers? That they believe in a ridiculous concept, idealise to the point of absurdity their hero figures and do not tolerate any diversity of opinion or deviation from the course they have charted. Why that sounds familiar, doesn't it? Those sound like the hallmarks of another reviled group. What other group could it be? What other group has as their concept of paradise such a ridiculous thing as Jesse and James being in love? What other group ignores reality to make the characters they profess to love into idealised versions of what they personally believe to be perfection? What other group will brook no alternate opinion to their beliefs and do anything to force their ideas onto everyone else. It's quite simple really, and the shocking truth alluded to earlier in this article. Rocketshippers are terrorists. Shocking? Yes. Controversial? Considerably. Suspiciously erotic? You be the judge. An obscure dance hit from Eurovision '84? Not at all. But just think about it before you rush to check if the terror alert has raised from Mauve to Puce in the last few seconds. Rocketshippers idea of paradise is a world where Jesse and James are in love, while terrorists idea of paradise are similarly far fetched and beyond the realms of possibility. Whether it be the British up and leaving Ireland, 72 doe eyed virgins pleasuring you for eternity if you blow up a pizza bar or a really phallic looking tower in New York or the Russians not torturing you for shits and giggles, terrorists all work towards the ultimate goal of something that just ain't gonna happen. Just like Rocketshippers. Jesse and James are almost always out of character in fanfics, basically idealised versions of how the fanfic writer sees themselves or wants to be seen. Similarly terrorists take heart and morale from idealising their leaders, religious figures or martyrs. Yasser Arafat is like unto a God in the eyes of Palestinian Militants who hated him when he was alive. Osama Bin Laden is the wise and charismatic rebel fighter who thumbs his nose at Imperial America as opposed to a gangly billionaire's son with a kidney disorder who goes and lives in comfort at his 'estranged' parents mansions in Saudi Arabia while those who love him getted bombed by Americans to win their hearts and minds. Gerry Adams is a shrewd political mover and shaker with the courage to back up his convictions as opposed to some weird bearded git with a funny accent. Terrorists use their leaders, religious figures and fallen comrades as convenient containers to pour in their own ideals and beliefs. Just like Rocketshippers. Bombings in London, towers falling over in New York, schools being held hostage, Palestinian youths throwing deadly stones at poor defenceless Israeli tanks and rockets. No matter where terrorism happens, it is because the terrorists want to force others to conform to their world view. The Irish want the British gone, Al Qaeda wants The Great Satan dead, Chechens want Russia out of their country and Palestinians want to stop being shot, bullied, killed and abused by Israelis. All of these are impossible outcomes because the British have bred themselves in, Americans are fat and rich, Russia is led by a terrifying mole of a man who thinks KGB is AOK and the Palestinians are plainly anti-Semites (and probably Nazis to boot). But terrorists will keep fighting for their cause, pushing for what they want, battling to get it exactly as they want it with no compromise. When compromise is suggested they will rage against it or find a way to sabotage it so that they can keep pushing for their impossible goal. Just like Rocketshippers. So there you have it, the shocking truth. Rocketshippers are terrorists. So right now you are asking yourself,"What can I do to stop these heartless bastards?" even as some Rocketshippers strap on their bombs. Well the answer is manyfold. Maybe you should report them to these happy fellows since they're just about done building a nice freedom cage for each and every American Citizen. Or maybe make a protest march calling for more tolerance of other shipping concepts (with a tacked on call for the banning of pointless CGI from television advertisements and Tony Blair's right arm). Perhaps you could buy some duct tape and plastic and protect your den from controlled clouds of radioactive fanfics? Whatever you choose to do, do it with the knowledge that Rocketshippers support terrorism, and hate kittens. Final Note: To answer the inevitable e-mails coming from Rocketshippers: 1. Yes, this entire article is serious. It is now an established fact that you, a Rocketshipper, are a terrorist. 2. Yes, the above reply is serious. Your e-mail address has been reported to the Department of Homeland Security and you will soon be taken away for a leisurely tort... interrogation. 3. Yes, your computer IS broadcasting an IP address. Make sure if you see pop-up ads warning about this that you click the links and purchase the products they offer. 4. No we don't want to read your Livejournal, but we are sure your mood is 'indifferent' and you are listening to Avril Lavigne. 5. Yes, fanfics written in script format with no introduction are a great thing to recieve in the e-mail, thanks! Anti-Rocketshipping - Indigo League Anti-Rocketshipping - Orange League Anti-Rocketshipping - Johto League Coming soon: Anti-Rocketshipping - In the Movies Coming soon: Anti-Rocketshipping - The Hug Factor How to cure Rocketshipping Rocketshipping: An Analysis				Pokemopolis supports the practice of Safe Sex